Billy Loves Lifting
I came to commit
“Engage the lats, tighten the core, focus, deep breath” my trainer Roger bellows out as a reminder while I position over 150% of my weight onto my shoulders to be moved up and down with just the forces of my body. A new personal best, a 300 pound squat, was my reminder that after a slothful month my strength was still there.
My mindset about the gym has shifted recently as I’ve been embracing the physical-mental connection required to lift heavy weights. The challenge is both to lift the weight and to decide to lift the weight. Both require pushing through discomfort. It isn’t comfortable to add more weight, to increase the range of motion, to do another rep. It’s not pain — you don’t want to be hurting yourself — but it shouldn’t entirely be pleasant. It is hard. I remind myself that I can do hard things. I can have a good workout even if I’m tired. I can go to the gym even if it’s 110% humidity and I’ll be dripping sweat before the warm up sets are finished. I can rearrange my schedule to prioritize fitness even if it means waking up early.
As I level up my strength, I’ve seen parallels outside the gym. I put myself into ever-increasing positions of discomfort to grow: learning something new, trying new foods, working on my relationships. I never thought I could do a pull-up, have the strength to lift myself up with just my muscles and determination. A few years ago, doing a pull-up wouldn’t even have been something I was interested in. Now, I can do at least eight in a row and make them look easy.
“exercise gives you time back – if you take four hours, six hours, a week for physical fitness, you get those hours back because you have more energy, you’re more mentally healthy, you’re able to work harder.”
In Scott Galloway’s latest book The Algebra of Wealth he says “exercise gives you time back – if you take four hours, six hours, a week for physical fitness, you get those hours back because you have more energy, you’re more mentally healthy, you’re able to work harder.” Very few investments guarantee return. Our bodies are a valuable asset and we should protect and invest in them.
Last month, I didn’t invest in my body. I indulged. A favorite indulgence is a late night snack combo: a venn diagram (hi Kamala!) of sweet, carby, salty and chocolatey. Perhaps a bowl of cereal (Lucky Charms if we’re really being wild), toss in some pretzel rods and an unmeasured amount of a caramel sea salt Tony’s Chocolonely’s bar from my never-ending wedding stash – yum. My step count decreased. The gym was an “if” not a “when”. I wasn’t as focused, wasn’t as present, and by the end, wasn’t even enjoying the sloth.
Old Billy might’ve given myself grace and eased back in, but I wanted to be stronger, I wanted to push. I didn’t need to let falling out of my routine decide how I would re-enter it. I work with a trainer and find the external perspective helpful in different ways. Sometimes I need help with form, sometimes motivation, sometimes to just get unstuck from the limits of what I think I can’t do.
Throughout the workout I found myself repeating a few mantras to focus my thoughts and my body:
I’m not here to be comfortable
I came here to commit
Even if I don’t feel 100% I will give 100%
I’m strong enough to not need a treat or reward or rest for every hard situation
The rest time is work too – breathe correctly, maintain the focus, prepare for the next challenge
I got through that workout and then another one and another one, and it’s not going to stop. But if it does, I know I have the strength to start again.